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that id-relationships strengthen the ego when they occur in a framework of ego-relatedness. If
this be accepted, then an understanding of the importance of the capacity to be alone follows.
It is only when alone (that is to say, in the presence of someone) that the infant can discover
his own personal life. The pathological alternative is a false life built on reactions to external
stimuli. When alone in the sense that I am using the term, and only when alone, the infant is
able to do the equivalent of what in an adult would be called relaxing. The infant is able to
become unintegrated, to flounder, to be in a state in which there is no orientation, to be able
to exist for a time without being either a reactor to an external impingement or an active
person with a direction of interest or movement. The stage is set for an id experience. In the
course of time there arrives a sensation or an impulse. In this setting the sensation or impulse
will feel real and be truly a personal experience.
It will now be seen why it is important that there is someone available, someone present,
although present without making demands; the impulse having arrived, the id experience can
be fruitful, and the object can be a part or the whole of the attendant person, namely the
mother. It is only under these conditions that the infant can have an experience which feels
real. A large number of such experiences form the basis for a life that has reality in it instead
of futility. The individual who has developed the capacity to be alone is constantly able to
rediscover the personal impulse, and the personal impulse is not wasted because the state of
being alone is something which (though paradoxically) always implies that someone else is
there.
In the course of time the individual becomes able to forgo the actual presence of a mother or
mother-figure. This has been referred to in such terms as the establishment of an ‘internal
environment’. It is more primitive than the phenomenon which deserves the term ‘introjected
mother’.
Climax in Ego-relatedness
I would now like to go a little further in speculating in regard to the ego-relatedness and the
possibilities of experience within this relationship, and to consider the concept of an ego
orgasm. I am of course aware that if there is such a thing as an ego orgasm, those who are
inhibited in instinctual experience will tend to specialize in such orgasms, so that there would
be a pathology of the tendency to ego orgasm. At the moment I wish to leave out
consideration of the pathological, not forgetting identification of the whole body with a part-
object (phallus), and
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to ask only whether there can be a value in thinking of ecstasy as an ego orgasm. In the
normal person a highly satisfactory experience such as may be obtained at a concert or at the
theatre or in a friendship may deserve a term such as ego orgasm, which draws attention to
the climax and the importance of the climax. It may be thought unwise that the word orgasm
should be used in this context; I think that even so there is room for a discussion of the
climax that may occur in satisfactory ego-relatedness. One may ask: when a child is playing,
is the whole of the game a sublimation of id-impulse? Could there not be some value in
thinking that there is a difference of quality as well as of quantity of id when one compares
the game that is satisfactory with the instinct that crudely underlies the game? The concept of
sublimation is fully accepted and has great value, but it is a pity to omit reference to the vast